Adam- You expect him to care?! AT LEAST YOU WEREN’T EATEN BY GHOULS AND USED AS AN ANGEL-CONDOM!

Zachariah- … ‘nuff said.

Balthazar- Tries to save you by killing Fate. Unfortunately he gets distracted by an orgy and you die. No matter how long you sit in Heaven with a pissed expression he doesn’t come.

Bobby- Starts killing everything in sight, hoping to attract the attention of Death and negotiate your release.

Crowley- What? You expected the King of Hell to come running to save you? *monologues about his own fabulousness as you die*

Gabriel- Uses his powers to give you your breath back, but then takes away your kidneys.

John Winchester- Happy to have a new obsession to beat his children over the head with: Hunting down whatever took your breath away~

The Ghostfacers- Not the best people to be around during a crisis…

Ruby- Has to take a break in her master evil plan to save your sorry ass.

Yellow Eyes- Only knows how to stick you to the ceiling and burn you, which he does. And you die. Painfully.

Chuck- Would have warned you sooner, but

Castiel- … still learning the basics of CPR…

Misha- Tweets as you die

Dean Winchester- Fairly well versed in mouth-to-mouth. And luckily you’re hot, so he’ll make sure you pull through ;)

Jensen Ackles- Isn’t going to let a fangirl trick him into kissing!

Sam Winchester- Assumes it is his fault and tries to save you using his greatest asset

Jared Padalecki- Taking his cues from Genevive he demonstrates the proper breathing procedure

*ahem*

The most successful SPN couple- he may have killed her on the show, but then they got married in real life :)

Though I am *quite* excited to see if they continue on with this Bobby/Jodie thing!!! Or “Boobie” as Kim Rhodes wants fans to call it :)